I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
