"it" just moved
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
