Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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