I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
