last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I enjoy the company of your penis
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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