maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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