No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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