You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
