i think my tv is drunk
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
