Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
