You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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