bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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