if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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