She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
