Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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