I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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