does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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