even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize