i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
