I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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