fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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