2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
third nipple confirmed
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize