I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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