she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
