if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
When did angry sex become our thing?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
