its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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