i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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