11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So drunk its hurt
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
