thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
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Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
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It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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