Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
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Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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