I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
