what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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