I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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