I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Randomize
