they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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