i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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