Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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