i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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