toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize