I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
