That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
