I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
