I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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