i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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