i barfeds in our rink
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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