I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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