I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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