dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
