do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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