How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
