I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
