Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
