He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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