is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize