Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
