maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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