I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize